Learning to release expectation, 5 ways to let yourself off the hook

In Blog by Celine RedfieldLeave a Comment

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”~ Alexander Pope

Last week I was trying to decide if I was going to write my weekly blog post in advance because I knew I would be out of town for a training. I was hemming and hawing about did I have the time?  And then I realized that it would be so appropriate to write about expectations, since this was a perfect example of me placing expectations on myself. I attempted to complete the post last week but ran out of time, so I let go of the expectation and  completed it for today. So this weeks theme is about learning how to release expectations that we place upon ourselves.

1) Let go of thinking, I am not doing enough.

In our modern world we constantly are moving, engaging with others via social media, our phones and email. It feels like we could always be doing more. If you remember just 10 years ago we when there were no smart phones and we couldn’t be accessed 24- 7 like today, we had less expectations of what we could complete. So maybe just for today, we can think about shortening our to do list so that we have less expectations of what we will accomplish for one day.

Remember to tell yourself  at a least once a day that you are doing a good job and that you are doing your best for today. Remember if that one or two tasks are not completed today you can always be completed tomorrow. It is better to take self care breaks than it is to push yourself to a state of being stressed. This practice of being kind to yourself will help improve your relationships with others. If you are more patient and kind to yourself, you will be more likely to emulate that towards others.

2) Stop comparing your insides to someone’s outsides.

Do you have difficulty with thinking that someone else has their life together because they have the car, the partner, the house and the kids? I understand this way of thinking, and being trapped in this paradigm that we are missing out on our life but this is not true. We all have different life paths. We all have been placed on this earth for a reason and we have all have a purpose. We manifest what we think in our lives. The question is what are you manifesting in your life? Are you working toward the things that you desire? How are you taking steps to do these things?

If you believe that these external things will create happiness for you then you are continuing to set yourself up for disappointment. No matter what material things that you gain they will not bring you lasting happiness. Happiness and a sense of ease comes from within. Try developing your relationship with yourself and your higher source to help you feel fulfilled.

3) Be grateful for what you have instead of what you don’t have.

This comes down to being a person who sees, the glass half empty vs. the glass half full.  If you truly want to live a life with more joy in it having a regular gratitude practice is necessary. The practice of gratitude has been found to help reduce physical symptoms, and create a better out look on life. Try writing a gratitude list for a week every morning, this has proven to raise mood and out look on life when a person continually does this for a month they can reduce depression symptoms and feelings of isolation. 

When you practice gratitude on a daily basis you have a more balanced view of life. Less bothers you because you see things with a clearer perspective and seeing the grater whole. Learning to practice gratitude in every area in your life is the goal. Then we can let go of the polarity of thinking things are good or bad. They just are a part of life.

4) Be kind to yourself when your having a hard time, instead of telling yourself that your weak.

The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to beat ourselves up when we are having a hard time. Our brains are actually wired to do this unfortunately. The writer Rick Hanson, talks about how our brains are ” teflon for the good things  and are like velcro for the bad.” We were set up this way so that we would not make perilous mistakes like being eaten by a large mammal. These days this is an outdated part of our brain.

Stop listening to this part of your brain, the judging mind. Attempt to have a detached awareness of this part of your brain and thank it for sharing. We are not our thoughts. We are the actions that we take.

You are not weak, you have survived and thrived up to this point! As humans we are very strong and have all survived some difficult things in our lives. Focus on the things that you have done correctly for the day and all the things that you have thrived through up to this point in your life. If you are deeply ingrained with this voice and can not stop listening to is, you may want to seek council from a mental health professional.

5)Forgive yourself for being imperfect.

As human beings we are all flawed and imperfect. We must recognize this. For when we don’t let ourselves of the hook we continue to live in ego which blocks us from our higher selves. When we are kind to ourselves we release the situation, when we judge ourselves we store the situation in our bodies and it becomes another burden that we carry. Who needs more baggage? I certainly do not, how about you? Allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect today!

Practice these things for the next week and let me know how they go and let me know what works for you, in the comments below or feel free to contact me.

Have a beautiful week!



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