Learning to ask for Help

In Blog by Celine RedfieldLeave a Comment

2496308570_c4245a2d4b_z“The only mistake you can make is not asking for help.” ~Sandeep Jauhar

In our society we are taught that it is weak to ask for help and/or that there are strings attached when we ask for it. I know in my family, I was taught to be independent,  take care of myself, and exhaust all possibilities before asking for help.  Not asking for help keeps us sick, stuck and isolated with our problems. Since being on my path of spiritual growth I realized that asking for help is necessary to having a healthy,  peaceful, and well rounded life. Here are 4 ways that asking for help keeps you healthy:

1) Asking for help creates community.

When a person asks for help their request becomes a common purpose for multiple people which creates community. As human beings we are wired to be part of communities that thrive together. We are not mean to be isolated and totally independent. We have evolved to care for one another and to be a part of something greater than just ourselves. Other people helping one another creates positivity, mutual respect and understanding. These are the tenants that make communities thrive. People thrive in support which allows them to be healthy and happy. Being of service to others, creates purpose and meaning for people’s lives.

2) Asking for help allows you to be vulnerable.

According to the researcher Brene Brown, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” When we allow others to see our needs, wants and desires we break through the walls we have built that are holding us back from our true selves. Maybe we have built these walls because we have been hurt by others in our past. Remember the walls that we create hold us from experiencing our lives fully, with grace and dignity. It can be difficult to remove these walls on our own. Check out Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, so that you can do some self exploration about vulnerability. If this is not enough please think about visiting a mental health professional to help you to explore your blocks.

3) Asking for help keeps you humble.

Humility is necessary in ones life to help them understand that they are not invincible and that they are human full of foibles. Humility helps us to be realistic in our lives and accept our imperfections.

By asking for help we see that we do need others, we allow others to love us and show up for us. This allows us to be able to be intimate and vulnerable with others. By us showing this vulnerability we show others that we are safe to be vulnerable with, this teaches others humility. It is basically a win win situation, through the power of example we can help others change as well. Humility create bonds and builds strength between people.

If you suffer from the need to be perfect this could sound like climbing a mountain. Remember humility is about learning your imperfections and accepting them. Humans are fallible. Embrace your imperfections they make you your unique self.

4) Asking for help reduces stress.

Carrying the whole world around like Charles Atlas is tiring and produces stress in our mind, body, and spirit. When we delegate some responsibilities to others we reduce our stress because we are asking for help. This allows our minds to be at ease because we have let go of control and have allowed someone else to take some of our responsibilities. Letting go of control can be scary and freeing at the same time. If you are having difficulty letting go after you ask for help, try using this acupressure point:

 Releasing control is necessary if you want to gain the help that you need and to relieve stress. Also try the affirmation: “I make good decisions, I release the need for control, I turn my stress (worry) over to the universe.” If control is an issue that you have, please think about reading my article on the subject here.

When we ask for help we shift the dynamic in our lives into one of support and community instead of power and control. How would you like to live? Do you have any comments about asking for help? Do you want to ask me a question? Please leave me a comment or feel free to contact me.

Have a beautiful week.





Photo: Help is on the way by Cory Doctrow


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