For years when people have had issues with feeling good about themselves, the psychological and spiritual community talked about how people need more self-esteem. There was talk of doing esteem-able acts in order to build self-esteem, ie. volunteering, being of service and doing things for the greater good. Doing these things will build a better self concept for those that are feeling down on themselves. But according to the scientific community there is something missing with just relying on self-esteem.
What has been found by scientific community starting in 2009 is that actually self compassion is more important. You might be asking why? Well lets break down what each thing is: Self esteem is defined as a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect (according to dictionary.com). Self compassion is the ability to see oneself as an imperfect human by loving, accepting and considering negative aspects of one self. So what are the differences between the two of these things? One is an internal shift and the other is an external shift. Self esteem being the external shift and self compassion being the internal shift.
So why is an internal shift more important? Well, this actually changes your brain. When you practice kindness towards yourself and see yourself as an imperfect being of humanity it equalizes your judgements of yourself. You know that you are your greatest critic. So what I am suggesting that it is time to stop judging yourself and start loving yourself for your imperfections. This will allow things shift for you. Breathe into your humanity, love it and nuture it so then it can pass. Acceptance is the key to everything, for when we fight we are just grasping for something that has already passed.
Want to learn more about self compassion? Check out this article.
Want help with learning how to be more compassionate with yourself? Set up an appointment with me.