The Value of Trust

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

Trust is a continuum, some people lack it in their lives, some people feel secure, and others trust people too much. Many people have difficulty trusting others due to their past histories. This is normal, the only issue is that it keeps people stuck in old patterns and stunts them from making new connections. This week we will explore about how trust affects one’s life, and how to live in it instead of uncertainty. Here are 5 action steps to learn to trust yourself and others:

1) Work on forgiveness of yourself for past mistakes.

We all make mistakes. We are human. Our mistakes help us to make better choices next time. When we do not take the time to forgive ourselves, then we usually get into the same situations because we have not learned the lessons that we were meant to. We will be presented with the same issues over and over again with new packaging if we do not learn the lesson and practice forgiveness. Take time to review past mistakes, journal about them and see what the lesson is that you need to learn. Then write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. By taking this action, we begin the healing process. When we see what are patterns are, we can begin to see when we are engaging in them again. With the awareness of what these patterns are, we can make different choices. This poem illustrates this beautifully:

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

~Portia Nelson

2) When you notice that you are beginning to have trust issues with someone, pause and ask yourself to several things.

First get quiet and take 5 deep breaths, then ask yourself:

Is this an upset from the present or the past? Take time to listen to your inner self, instead of your ego.

If it is from the past, continue to ask yourself, “What is this reminding me of?”

Then ask,”What do I need to feel safe, and how can I do that for myself?” Or,What do I need to ask for?”

If you notice that these exercises are difficult for you think about seeking professional help. Everyone deserves to let go of old baggage.

3) Don’t let fear hold you back.

Several weeks ago I discussed fear. When we lack trust in our lives we are basically living in fear and keeping ourselves small. The acronym FEAR, as used to represent False Evidence Appearing Real, and is of unknown origin. It can teach us to stop living in lack and inviting in possibility. When you learn to use trust, this is when you grow and dare greatly. Trusting yourself and trusting that you make good decisions, will make situations less scary. You will know what is right for you, and you will be willing to leap without seeing the end result.  Try this affirmation on for size: ” I trust the universe. I trust myself to make decisions based on my highest good.”

4) Be willing to be vulnerable.

If we live in fear of being hurt, then we miss living. Part of being human is experiencing joy and pain. When we choose to stop using our barriers to protect ourselves, then we have the possibility of having a new experience and to become our true selves. The barriers we use to protect us, keep us separate from others and from who we are actually meant to be. We learn to have these barriers when we are young to help keep us safe. The question is:

• Are they still working?
• What are they taking away from you?
• Are they keeping you in a holding pattern?
• Do they keep you being a victim?

When we can begin to see the character defenses we use and be willing to look at them and work on using them less, then we can be vulnerable with others. Remember if you actually listen to your inner self, it will tell you if people are safe or not. When we are vulnerable, we become stronger in ourselves, and we can be who we actually are and not who we think others want us to be.

5) Take time to reflect.

When you are a stressed out, working too much, not eating properly, or not sleeping well, this is a time when issues will most likely come up for you. It is usually best to not make important decisions when you are stressed.  Take the time to journal, meditate, talk about it with a trusted friend that doesn’t cosign your confusion and fear. Try these acupressure points GV 24.5, The Third Eye point and GV26, Middle of a Person to gain clarity while you meditate and breathe:

Having personal time each day is necessary to help you to fulfill  your greatest potential.

Are you interested in learning to connect with yourself more and reducing your stress? Please come attend my workshop this weekend. Here is more information:

Reducing Stress with Breath work, EFT and acupressure

April 12th from 6:30PM to 8:30PM and Liberate Emporium. In Los Feliz at 1765 Hillhurst Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90027

The cost is $35.

Reservations are recommended.

Please call to reserve your spot! (323) 663-6000

Please comment below and if you have any questions feel free to contact me! Have a beautiful week!

Best,