How to deal with people who push your buttons

In Blog by Celine RedfieldLeave a Comment


Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind. ~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

We all have those people in our lives that push our buttons. The universe has put these people in our lives to teach us lessons about ourselves and what we need to work on. Difficult people can be our teachers and be a catalyst for change. Knowing this and using it as a spiritual/ life lesson is helpful and a slow process. In the spirt of wanting results now and instant gratification, I have complied 5 ways to not let challenging people get under your skin.

1) Be kind to those who agitate you
It is the worst when you have a co-worker or a class mate that really gets you agitated. Those people that know exactly what to say to get under your skin.The reality in life is that we are not going to get along with everyone. There are difficult people that are in our lives. If someone is irritating you, kill them with kindness and do not engage in their drama. Remember they are relating in this way because they do not know how to interact in another way. They are probably acting out their internalized anger and hurt towards others because they do not know how to process it themselves.
The key to a happy life is to be kind to everyone that you meet. I am not saying that you need to be friends with everyone, just to be kind and cordial even to those who are rude to you.

2) Limit the amount of time you spend with those that agitate you.
The one thing that you can do to protect yourself from people that drive you crazy is by limiting your time with them. If your co-worker wants to spend time with you after work, thank them and tell them that your busy. If it is family members, only stay for a few hours and then leave. Or if you have to travel, shorten your trip to 4 days instead of a week or two weeks. Plan time for breaks, go for walks, meditate, and visit friends. Remember you create your reality and life, you can choose how you spend your time and who you spend your time with.

3) Stop comparing your insides to their outsides
You will never feel good about yourself or be able to be happy for others when you compare yourself to them. Acting in this way is a sure fire way to let people get under your skin. Don’t let their Facebook profile make you jealous. Remember Facebook is curated by that person and what they present might not be the full truth of their lives. Stop thinking that there are specific deadlines of when you are “supposed to” complete things, be married, have kids or be wealthy.You have your own unique life path apart from others embrace it and be proud of it. Let your life unfold and be grateful for all that you have in your life. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and distracts you from what is important to you. And if your not keeping up with the Jones’ let it go, you have more important things to do, live your life!

4) If you know someone is good at pushing your buttons, change your perspective
Some one who is irritating you is not going to change. But the way that you look at the situation can. Try having compassion for the person. I know this is hard, remember they are in pain and that is why they are difficult. Notice what is upsetting you. Take time to explore that feeling, acknowledge it and breathe through it. If you notice that you ego is getting hurt by them and acknowledge this. Know that your ego can take it, you will not be killed by having a bruised ego. Have compassion for yourself and the other person so that you can let the resentment go.

5) Ask yourself what button they are pushing and why does it make you feel crazy?
For me personally the people that make me the most crazy are the people who are like an old part of myself or they represent someone who has hurt me in the past. They serve as a mirror of how I have changed and grown over the years. But when we hate these people, we are hating a part of us that was once the way we survived. We must embrace this old self so that we can find compassion for it and then for the actual person that is in front of us. We don’t like it because it is making us remember past hurts and to come to terms with them. This is painful, most humans avoid physical and emotional pain at all costs.

Remember the universe will continue to give you the same situations in different packages over and over again. Until you learn the lesson you will be doomed to rinse and repeat. Be willing to see the lesson that you need learn so that you can invite new energy and experiences in your life.
What has been your experience with difficult people? Please share in your comments below. Do you need help processing this? Contact me!

Image: Push by Voodo Angel

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