What wolf do you feed? Choice in the way that we live.

In Blog by Celine RedfieldLeave a Comment


A young boy came to his Grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had done him an injustice.
The old Grandfather said to his grandson, “Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy. Hate is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

“It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf, is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper.”

“He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both of the wolves try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked,
“Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and said, “The one I feed.”

The two wolves parable reminds us that we are the ones who determine how we live. I share this story in keeping with the theme of change and reevaluation for the new year. This week I thought we would explore how our choices shape our lives:

1. The way you think affects the way you live.
Our thoughts are powerful. They create our perceptions of our realities. The more that we feed the negative wolf, the more our perceptions see all the bad that we have in our lives. The more we are grateful and see all that we have, the more positive the experience we have in our lives. It is our choice. If you would like to learn more about the power of gratitude please read my post on it here.  How do you live?  How do you want to live? Take time today to notice where your thoughts default to. Remember don’t judge yourself, just view it with curiosity. And then decide how you would like to perceive your life.

2. You can not live in love and fear at the same time.

Love and fear can not co-exist at the same time for they are the polar opposites of one another. Love cherishes, accepts and embraces everything that it touches. Fear attempts to dominate, label and contain. We have a choice in every moment of every day to choose how we want to show up for life. Do you want to live in love or do you want to live in fear? I know that it is easy to vacillate between the two extremes.

We are all human and we are all doing the best we can in this moment. Today when you go to judge another person, (since we all do this) try just taking in the objective things about them and not take any subjective thoughts towards them so that you are not sending them shade. If you notice that they maybe challenged in some sort of way, try sending them good wishes and release them to sprit. See how you feel after this practice.

3. We are our biggest blocks to change.

Frequently I notice that people want to change but are afraid to change. They become married to the issue that they want to let go because they believe that some how it is a part of their identity. They are afraid to let go of this identity or narrative that they believe defines them and are afraid of the unknown. The only way to allow change into your life is to be willing to trust the unknown. This is a slow process to change this way of thinking. Be patient with yourself. And try changing one small thing at a time.

It is also tricky to when you have any unresolved trauma. If you want to release these blocks and are having difficulty due to unresolved trauma, I would suggest that you gain assistance from a mental health professional.

4. Being in “control” takes more work than living in faith

Unfortunately much of our society is based on the power and control dynamic. That is why people are viewed as being weak if we are not in control. I think it is time to let go of this outdated paradigm and revise that it to that it takes strength in living in faith.

Control is a false sense of safety. Even if you are able to arrange everything just as you like it. There will be something that falls out of line and then this leads to disappointment and resentment.

Faith is trust in the universe, riding the wave of life and seeing things as they are instead of unpleasant verses pleasant. When we see everything life as just a part of the journey then we feel fulfilled instead of disappointed.

If you want to learn more about releasing control please view my blog post from a few weeks ago here.

5. Making goals helps to change your life.

Goals are a compass that guide us forward. When we are lacking in goals we are lack in direction. The beginning of the year is a great time to set new goals to strive toward. I suggest that you write down goals for 3 months, 6 Months, 9 Months, 1 year, 5 years and 10 years from now. Remember this is not set in stone this just gives you a direction to work towards. Are you having difficulty making a decision of what you want in your life? I can help! Please come attend my vision board workshop this Friday at Liberate Emporium. For more info click here.

What are your goals? What wolf do you feed? Please share your feedback about this article and comment below! And as always please feel free to email me or at celine@innergrowththerapy {dot} com. (Also I  realized the my email form was not working properly, the situation has been remedied. My apologies if you contacted me and I did not respond!)

Have a beautiful week and may it be filled with peace and joy!



Fighting wolves by Tambako The Jaguar


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