As we approach the holidays, the days grow darker, marking our transition into winter and the more subdued part of the year. If we observe the wildlife around us, we can see that they, too, are preparing for the inevitable cold and darkness. Squirrels are busy burying nuts and seeds, while seedlings and various animals get ready for the bleakness of winter.
This pre-holiday period offers many opportunities for socializing and connecting with others, but it can sometimes feel overwhelming. If we don’t practice balance between our active and receptive states, our nervous system can become unbalanced. It’s important to be mindful of how much bandwidth you have at any given moment. Take a moment to pause and assess your energy level. Ask yourself, “Will this choice be renewing or depleting?”
Check-In
Start to notice how much time you need for both social interactions and solitude. Personally, I thought I was an extrovert until the pandemic hit. It made me realize how much I needed alone time and recharge time. Now, I understand that I require daily connections through texts or phone calls, and I can handle about three to four social events each week. It turns out that I’m an “introverted extrovert” who needs recharge time. What do you need in your life to achieve balance between the active and the receptive?
The nervous system always knows. We can not ‘trick’ ourselves into being present for another if we feel dysregulated. And if we are feeling dysregulated, we can’t ‘trick’ someone into experiencing us as being present. – Deb Dana.
Nervous System Basics
Let’s learn about our nervous system to understand the gentle balance it requires. The nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic branch prepares us for action and is responsible for the “fight or flight” response. In contrast, the parasympathetic branch helps us return to a state of balance, allowing us to connect, rest, and digest, which is often referred to as the ventral vagal state. This parasympathetic branch also includes a collapse, freeze or powering down response this referred to the dorsal vagal state. You can think of the sympathetic system as the gas pedal and the parasympathetic system as the brake. (We’ll discuss the nervous system in more detail next week.)
Vagal Break Exercise
Now, let’s visualize this concept using the analogy of a bicycle brake, based on an exercise from Deb Dana. The vagal brake’s role is to adjust your heart rate according to the needs of the moment. It operates similarly to the brakes on a bicycle. When you release the bicycle brake while going downhill, you build momentum, which increases sympathetic energy in your system and speeds up your heart rate. Conversely, when you apply the bicycle brake, your heart rate slows down, allowing the flow of ventral vagal (parasympathetic) energy.
In this context, inhalation represents the release of the brake, activating the sympathetic nervous system, while exhalation represents the application of the brake, activating the parasympathetic ventral state.
To practice this, stand with your feet slightly apart—either side by side or with one foot in front of the other. Imagine that one foot is anchored in the ventral state and the other in the sympathetic state. Shift your weight back and forth between your feet, noticing how your vagal brake relaxes and re-engages as you regulate the flow of sympathetic energy.
Lift one foot off the ground to experiment with losing contact with the ventral state. Then, feel the ground under your foot once again to find your way back. Finally, play with the edges of balance by keeping just the toes of your ventral vagal foot in contact with the ground while leaning into your sympathetic system.
Next Steps..
If you want to learn more about resetting your nervous system and feeling more connected to yourself, I have four upcoming virtual events to help you do so. Click the flyers below to buy tickets, or contact me.
With love and compassion,
Celine
