Let’s discuss how to ignite joy.
Happy Solstice! This Saturday marks the solstice, the longest night of the year, signaling the Sun’s return. On this day, the sun begins to reclaim its strength, setting the stage for six months until the summer solstice when it reaches its zenith. This importance is why many celebrations and holidays occur. It acts as the last celebration before the depths of winter, honoring the Sun’s return and enabling us to connect with our ancestors’ joyful traditions.
I wasn’t a big fan of Christmas. About three years ago, instead of feeling down about winter and a holiday I didn’t enjoy, I began to celebrate the Sun regaining its strength and capacity. I’ve also embraced Yule, which brings me joy. This celebration lasts for 12 days, with each day dedicated to a theme, games, crafts, and honoring deities. I do it because it brings me so much joy.
“We need joy as we need air. We need love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share.” —Maya Angelou
Now, let’s explore the difference between happiness and joy.
Happiness is fleeting. Clients always come to me saying they want to be happy. That is different from what people want. I see happiness as a fleeting feeling that comes and goes. Joy is about the presence that you are with you. Our culture is obsessed with perfection, love, happiness, and positivity. We are stuck in a happiness trap. “ If I just get this, then I would be happy.” We have been taught that happiness is cultivated externally instead of internally. This is due to late-stage capitalism and the belief that we are broken somehow and must be fixed and soothed from external things. Consumerism is set up so we can learn to fill the hole in our existence. I am here to say that you are not broken and do not need to buy anything to augment yourself. You are beautiful as you are. I am sure you have some baggage, but I bet if you are reading this, you will take steps to work on it.
Joy is Gratitude.
Joy is part of enjoyment when we find gratitude and acceptance for each moment. I try to carry this tool with me every day. When I cultivate joy, I can be present, accepting, and flowing with life instead of fighting the current. Practicing acceptance consistently improves my well-being, making life feel less like a battle. I effortlessly go with the river of life. I notice when I am devoid of joy, acceptance, and gratitude; it feels as though I am struggling against the tide, relentlessly battered by large waves without yielding. Ultimately, I will release my grip and discover a new path, for resisting the current leaves me exhausted, depleted, irritable, and angry. Recognizing the right moment to embrace the present flow is the greatest gift I can offer myself, allowing me to breathe and unwind once more.
My teachers have shown me through the 12-step program, therapy, and insights from Pagan and Buddhist communities that joy is nurtured from within. It cannot be purchased. While happiness is a temporary emotion, joy arises from living in the present and truly appreciating it
If you are saying, “How the f*ck do I do that?” I understand. It requires practice.
Cultivating Joy Through the Act of Savoring
Cultivating joy and savoring the moment takes practice. We have a negativity bias in our brains from our amygdala. Our brains are trained to be Teflon for the good things and Velcro for the bad (Hanson, 2013). This is how humans have survived for so long: by remembering the bad stuff and letting go of the good. However, we can teach our brains how to savor the moment (Neff & Germer, 2015). Cultivating this tool takes time and practice, so be gentle with yourself.
Savoring the Good
I suggest that people create an internal bulletin board or vision board for the positive things throughout the day. When something good happens, or you feel playful and at ease, STOP and savor it for 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Use your five senses to make it real stick.
What sensations are you experiencing?
What is your posture like?
What thoughts are you having?
What do you hear?
What does your skin feel like?
What is supporting you?
What do you see?
What do you smell?
What do you notice about what you are tasting?
Your nervous system will thank you.
Adapted from Hanson, 2013
Going outside
If you need to reset yourself because you feel overwhelmed or are not in a good headspace, GO OUTSIDE! I do this all the time. Sometimes, I feel claustrophobic indoors when my head is in a bad neighborhood. You can also practice cultivating joy outside by looking at the plants, enjoying the weather (even if it is gross), and seeing what the wildlife around you is doing.
Here is an exercise from mindful self-compassion to help you build your capacity for savoring and sparking joy (Neff & Germer, 2015).
Sense And Savor Walk
The goal of the walk is to notice as many pleasurable things as possible, slowly, one after another. Using all your senses-sight, smell, sound, touch… maybe even taste.
How many happy, beautiful, or inspiring things can you notice while you’re walking? Do you enjoy the fresh air, the warm sun, a beautiful leaf, the shape of a stone, a smiling face, the song of a bird, the feeling of the earth under your feet?
When you find something delightful or pleasant, let yourself go into it. Really enjoy it. Feel a tender leaf or the texture of a stick, if you like. Give yourself over to the experience as if it were the only think that existed in the world. And when you are ready to discove something new, let it go and wait until you discover something else that is pleasurable and delightful to you.
Be like a honeybee going from one flower full of nectar to another. When you are full with one, go to another.
Take your time and enjoy!
Adapted from Bryant & Veroff, 2007
May you have a blessed and joyful solstice!!
May you have a blessed and joyful solstice!!
Till next time.
In the new year, I am offering two more tending to your nervous system virtual workshops. The first one is connecting with your spiritual guides and protective figures. And the second one is about redefining your boundaries. I will be out of the office from the 25th to the 2nd. But feel free to reach out if you need anything.
Until later, lovelies. Have a beautiful week.
With love and compassion,
Celine
