Let’s help you honor yourself.
Rest is essential, but our society fails to emphasize its importance. Instead, productivity, busyness, and constant activity are celebrated, fostering the belief that these traits define our value. The pandemic prompted us to slow our pace, yet we have reverted to our previous habits, increasingly rushing and trying to fit more into each day.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”― audre lorde
For the past year and a half, I’ve engaged in the transformative practice of rest. This concept felt unfamiliar to me due to the teachings of my family, who instilled the belief that I was lazy if I wasn’t learning, being helpful, or achieving something. This mindset has been passed down through several generations, firmly embedding itself in my nervous system. However, I understood that my busyness was a shield and armor, preventing me from slowing down, as I feared confronting my past experiences and the shadows they cast, leaving me no space to pause.
Learning to reconnect with Yourself.
Learning to reconnect with Yourself.When you are going so fast and are busy, it is hard to have time for reflection, self-care, or pausing. When we wait, we can check in with all parts of ourselves and build the capacity to hold space for complex things. Sometimes, when you have unresolved stuff from the past, it can become a boogeyman you are afraid of, but it is just a part of us that needs attention, love, and understanding. We can replenish and recharge, which allows us to recharge our depleted batteries. So then you can go out and keep doing your work of kicking ass by being kind, showing up for your community, and making a difference in the world. Reconnecting with yourself builds capacity for your parts and helps you build compassion for yourself, others, and the world at large. It allows you not to be a dick because you are so depleted that you have no patience for anyone else.
To reconnect with myself, I practice the act of play; I engage my younger self. I usually journal, draw, craft, sew, or put on music and dance to it, play Just Dance on the PS4. I also love to read, do research about esoteric things, sing karaoke in a private room, and watch movies that feel nostalgic such as Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Muppet Movie, or Hedwig and the Angry Inch.Self-care begins from within.
Self-care begins from within.
The self-care industry may offer countless products for external enhancement, but these solutions must address your internal landscape’s intricacies. They remain only skin deep. To feel safe, seen, and loved, we must prioritize self-care for ourselves first. For years, I believed that finding the perfect love would complete me. What made me feel whole was learning to nurture and support myself before expecting it from others. This notion that another person could fulfill my wholeness stemmed from my childhood experiences, where I missed the appropriate mirroring and attachment I needed. As an adult, I understand that this fulfillment must come from within.Here are some questions to ponder to help you reconnect and practice self-care:
What brings you joy?
What acts of play help you feel connected to yourself?
What actions are you willing to take to attend to all parts of you?
How will you practice self-compassion and self-love today?
What words of affirmation are you willing to say to yourself?
Letting go of FOMO.
Social media has certainly intensified the fear of missing out, a trend I believe began even before 2003. This is frustrating. It’s simply impossible to engage in all the activities we wish to pursue, yet our sympathetic nervous system misleadingly convinces us otherwise. When I let this part of my nervous system take control, I tend to overcommit, leading to feelings of exhaustion and illness. Nowadays, I remind myself that I am exactly where I need to be. I often experience FOMO, mainly because I desire inclusion in certain social circles, which taps into my need for affection and acceptance. This aspect of myself craves attention, yet it’s usually the part I neglect. When I’m truly in touch with myself, this part feels fulfilled and recognizes my true friends as opposed to those who aren’t meant for me. It’s impossible to be liked by everyone, just as I don’t have an affinity for everyone, making such expectations unrealistic.
Here are some tasks to temper your FOMO:
Stop following people who make you feel bad about yourself.
See what you are doing and make a gratitude list about it.
Only subscribe and hang out with people who love the real you and understand that you have limits and need to care for yourself.
Practice being excited for others when they do something fun and you can live vicariously through them.
You deserve to take a break and recharge.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay not to give your all all the time. If you find yourself operating at 50%, that’s absolutely fine! We all need to take care of our energy, because when we’re running on empty, it’s tough to be kind to ourselves and others. It’s okay to say no when you need to rest; those who truly care about you will understand. Your value isn’t determined by how much you do for others; you are worthy simply because you exist. Embrace who you are and recognize that your presence in the world is what truly matters. Remember, some days will feel easier than others, and that’s completely normal. Whether you’re facing a tough day, enjoying a great one, or just having an average one, it’s important to honor where you are right now. Embrace your feelings and the moment you’re in, for this is your unique journey. So, take a moment to get comfortable and reflect:
What do I need at this moment?
How is my nervous system feeling?
What emotions am I experiencing?
And how’s my breath doing?
Let me know if there’s any way I can support you during this time of rest and attending to yourself. Until later, lovelies. Have a beautiful week.
With love and compassion,
Celine
